Emmett's Birthday Bash
by Jaspers lil pixie77
Summary: Emmett celebrates his birthday in extremely extravagant Emmett style! A PARTY! But what he has in store for the Cullens is what everyone least expected!
1. Happy Birthday!

A/N: This idea just came to me! I was thinking about it one day and when I pictured the Cullen's doing this I burst out laughing! I hope you laugh too! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…but I do a copy of the book! Does that count?

**Happy Birthday!**

_**BPOV**_

"Bye Char…Dad!" I shouted on my way out the door.

"Bye Bells! Have fun at Emmet's birthday party!" Charlie yelled back.

Yes that's right. Emmet's birthday party. And why a seventy year old vampire wanted to have one remains a mystery to us all. And by us all I mean the Cullen's and I.

My truck grumbled to life. Startled, I jumped up in my seat. I was so used to the quiet purr of Edward's Volvo. After 25 long minutes (whenever I'm with Edward his fanatic driving gets us to his house in 10) I arrived at the Cullens. The familiar white house wasn't covered in banners or decorated by Alice like I thought it would. Instead, it stood warm and welcoming like always.

I walked up to the house and was about to knock on the door, but Alice opened it right on cue.

"Hey Bella! Thanks for coming." Alice smiled warmly.

"It's no problem! I really didn't want to miss out on this!" I said, stepping inside.

Her smile turned upside down when I said that.

"Well Emmett does some interesting things. He never fails to keep us entertained!" She said, grimacing.

We were in the living room by now where Jasper, Rosalie, and Edward were sitting down. I went over to sit with Edward when Jasper said something.

"Alice I know what your saying! One time he tried turning chicken wings into vampires!" Jasper said "And made them attack us!"

"Oh and one time he ran around the house in a pink tutu singing _Sexy Back_!" Rosalie chimed in.

"Yeah and that time he went to Newton's house and painted Mike's room pink with cute little unicorn's everywhere!" Edward added.

"And last years party." Alice said, rolling her eyes. "He…"

"Enough making fun of the birthday boy!" Emmett's voice boomed as he stepped into the living room.

Emmett had a slight pout on his face which, for some reason made me burst out laughing. Everyone in the room looked at me worried. At least my future family cared about my sanity.

"Anyway," he continued when he was sure I was finished laughing. "I know where I want to go for my birthday party!"

Alice froze, and when she came out of her trance she stomped her foot while mumbling a string of profanities. I glimpsed over at Edward and noticed he was pinching the bridge of his nose. That was not a good sign.

"Don't whine! It's rude!" Emmett whined.

I heard Edward mumble something, but it was too low for me to make out.

"I am not a hypocrite!" Emmett once again, whined. "Anyway, were going…drum roll please…(A/N: I was going to end the chapter here, but I didn't want to be that mean!)…to LASER TAG!!"

I heard Rosalie murmur "Idiot" and hit her forehead, along with Jaspers "Immature."

Feeling bad for Emmett I shouted over the protests.

"You guys! It's Emmett's birthday party, and all you do is complain! IT was his choice. So what if it's immature or stupid! It could be fun, but with the way your acting I doubt anyone will even crack a smile! So who wants to give this a shot?" I put my hand out the way you would before a baseball game.

Emmett put his hand in first, that Edward, slowly Alice, followed by Jasper, and a very very reluctant Rosalie.

"Thank Bella." Emmett said giving a genuine smile. "You're the best!"

"It's no problem Emmett! You deserve to get what you want on your birthday." I replied

Emmett continued talking.

"This is going to be a battle of the sexes, so Edward and Jasper are on my team! And Rose, Alice, and Bella will be on the other. The rules are…

If you're hit 20 times you will be out until the next round

2. Bella's hits count as 2 shots instead of 1.

3. Flashlights, Cell phones, or any other source of light can't be used.

4. You MUST ALWAYS go at a human page.

And…

5. DON'T CHEAT!!"

"I think we know not to cheat Emmett!" Jasper told him.

"Well I don't make the rules, I only enforce them!" He retorted. "We're leaving in two hours, so until then strategize!"

And in the blink of an eye everyone disappeared. Well that is everyone but me.

A/N: Silly Emmett! Oh and Carlisle and Esme aren't really in this. They are controlling the score bored to keep things fair! And yes, Rosalie is a little OOC in this by being nice to Bella!! REVIEW!

Adios!


	2. Scheming

1A/N: Hey ya'll! Thanx for the reviews and all that jazz. Here is chapter numero 2 for you!!

Disclaimer: -Invents a time machine to go into the future-

The year is 2078

Me: "Do I own Twilight?!"

Random Person "Nope."

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxO

"_I think we know not to cheat Emmett!" Jasper told him._

"_Well I don't make the rules, I only enforce them!" He retorted. "We're leaving in two hours, so until then strategize!"_

_And in the blink of an eye everyone disappeared. Well that is everyone but me._

**Scheming**

**BPOV**

There I was, alone. I felt so slow as I trudged up the stairs. I hated being the stupid human always getting left behind. I mean Edward could just bite me right now! But no, I have to marry him first!

I finally arrived at my destination. I let out a sigh and stepped in.

I had only been inside Alice's room when she made me play "Guinea Pig Barbie". And when I was being tortured, I never really looked at Alice's room. And even if I did, all memories of those make overs were forgotten.

It was just like I imagined. Pink walls, pink sheets, pink pillows, a pink stereo, pink curtains, a pink fan, a pink plasma TV (Do they even sell those?), all topped of with a pink carpet. She also had a white bed, white vanity, and a white dresser.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." I muttered angrily.

"We're so sorry Bella." Alice said.

"Really!" Rosalie added. "We forgot you walked at a human pace!"

"It's fine guys." I said forgiving them. "But now we have to find a way to beat the guys. After all Edward can read minds! Well he can read your minds, and there's nothing in the rules prohibiting him from using that to his advantage. Jasper also has his power too! And he's really smart, so he probably has some master mind plan. Plus Emmett can be very..."

"Jeez Bella! You worry to much. We already have a plan that's going to kick major ass!" Rose stated, cutting me off.

"Seriously Bella. We've got this one covered!" Alice took out a black box.

"Uhhh...Alice, what are those for?" I asked her.

"These?! Oh they're just synchronize necklace. That way it vibrates when the next part of the plan is going to be put into action! It also says the amount of time before the round ends! I also have hearing devices disguised as earrings! Then we can hear each other without the guys hearing us!" Alice chirped. "Plus, we'll be kicking major ass in style!" She put hand quotes on the words "major ass".

Then something completely and utterly horrible dawned on me.

"Alice! I don't have my ears pierced!" I exclaimed. Now the whole plan would be ruined because of my stupid un-pierced ears!

Alice turned to me with an evil glint in her eye, but Rosalie was the one that spoke.

"That can easily change..." She said looking towards Alice.

It took me a couple of seconds to understand what she meant, but once in sunk in I started backing away immediately. Rose and Alice closed the distance in 3 quick strides. Rosalie held me against the wall while two other pale hands moved to my ears. The crazed vampires did it in no less than 5 seconds.

"Ow?" I was confused. I didn't feel the throbbing pain I thought I would have. Instead there was just a little pinch. I reached up to touch my ear, and there they were. Two diamond studs.

"They're clip-ons silly! I pinch! (**A/N: Haha I love that Honda commercial!**)" Alice explained, holding up a pair of her own earrings.

"Did you really think we would pierce your ears?!" Rose questioned. "Edward would have killed us!"

I was to stunned to speak, so Alice started explaining the plan.

"Well, all of the guys have a weak spot. We all know Edward's is Bella, so Rose and I are going to think of you in that blue set you tried on at Victoria's Secret. He'll be momentarily distracted, so you can get him out like that!" She snapped her fingers while pools of red seeped through my cheeks remembering that trip.

Rosalie took over. "Jasper's weak spot is his power. So you have to think of something really, really, really emotional. That way he starts his emotional overload and I can take him out. Alice will help with messing up his emotions too!"

I nodded letting all of it process through my brain.

"But what about Emmett?" I asked. "Who's taking him out, and how?"

"Uhh...well we don't know about him yet..." Rose replied nervously. She looked at Alice to see if she had something, but she shook her head no.

I thought about it. Emmett is easily distracted, but the guys would probably think we would use Rosalie. Well maybe a grizzly bear? Okay scratch that idea. What about his obsession with whipped cream. Maybe, maybe not. Then it hit me.

"I got it!" I basically screamed. "You know how Emmett thinks he's Harry Potter?"

They both nodded their heads, wondering where I was taking this.

"Okay, so we make a sign..." I was interrupted by Alice's squeal.

"That's brilliant you devious little human!" She gave me a high-five.

Rosalie cleared her throat reminding us she had no idea what the plan was for Emmett. So we filled her in...

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxO

A/N: Okay there was the girls plan! The guys will be next, and I'll try to post it around Monday/Tuesday! But I'm very busy with golf camp, cheerleading camp, preparing for school, and the Breaking Dawn release party! Review and it will give me the motivation to work faster!

C-ya!


	3. Diabolical

1A/N: Sorry! I tried to update ASAP. But between golf, cheerleading, school, and reading Breaking Dawn (which I thought was great) I didn't have much time. If you guys want to talk to me my s/n is xoxtiff367! So here's the next chapter!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight...

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe I was taking part in this. Of all things, Emmet chooses the most immature. Well at least this wont go as bad as last years...I hope...

_FLASH BACK_

"_Come on guys! This year were going scuba diving in the Caribbean!!" Emmet screamed._

_Alice was the only other person excited about this. Well I guess it could be fun..._

_5 hours later_

"_AHHHHH!!" Rose screamed. Wait is it even possible to scream underwater. Oh well..._

"_The stupid squid got ink IN. MY. HAIR!!" She shouted, but it came out muffled from the water. (A/N: The Cullens only need the basic scuba diving gear like a mask, flippers, and suit because they don't need to breath!)_

_A couple seconds later we heard Alice scream._

"_HELP HELP HELP!!" she started swimming as fast as she could._

_A small little fish was swimming after her._

"_Alice sweetie." Jasper said trying to calm her down. "It's just a fish, see." He caught the fish with his hands and showed it to her._

"_But...but it was...swim...and...poof!" She said trying to explain._

_Emmet swam over to take a look at the fish._

"_Awww its so cute! I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine! He shall be my squishy!" Emmet started hugging the fish. Wow. Way to much Finding Nemo..._

_Then we realized what kind of fish that was._

"_Ow! Bad squishy, bad squishy!" Emmet backed away from the fish, well the puffer fish._

"_I think we've had enough scuba diving for today." I said._

_Everyone looked at me with wide eyes._

"_Well it was just an idea! You don't have to listen to me if your having fun!" I didn't mean to offend them, it just seemed like everyone was having a bad time._

"_Ed...Edward. T...t...turn. Around." Alice whispered. _

_I slowly turned my head. Behind me were three hammerhead sharks, and one giant squid. _

_End Flashback_

I shuddered at the memory. It couldn't be as bad as last year.

"So Edward lets start planning our attack!"Emmet said.

"Yeah we're going to beat the girls so badly, they'll be begging for death." Jasper started laughing evily.

Okay, awkward.

Then he snapped out of his evil trance. "Sorry I'm getting evil rays from someone...coughEmmetcough." Jasper explained.

"Sorry!" Emmet held his hands up in surrender.

"Guys just tell me what the plan is!" That's all I really cared about.

"Your such a party pooper Edward!" Emmet told me. "Your ruining my vibe."

I just rolled my eyes and sat down on Jasper's bed.

"Okay so the plan is this." He showed me a piece of paper that looked like this...

Team Dandelions Plan!!

Person: Alice

Strength: Phsycic

Weakness: Shopping

Who Takes Them Down: Edward

How: Line a bunch of designer bags on the floor. She'll be distracted and then you stike!

D-A-N-D-E-L-I-O-N-S

Person: Rosalie

Strength: Smart and Evil

Weakness: Emmet/Babies

Who Takes Them Down: Emmet

How: Start kissing her but while you are shoot her with your lasers super fast.

D-A-N-D-E-L-I-O-N-S

Person: Bella

Strength: Advantages ( easier for her to take someone out )

Weakness: Clumsy and human

Who Takes Them Down: Jasper

How: Trip her and then shoot her.

I wasn't so sure about tripping Bella. I didn't want her to get hurt.

"Emmet? Why do you want to trip Bella?" I asked.

"Oh were just going to trip her, Jasper is going to catch her, and then he's going to shoot her!" He explained. A grin plastered on his face. I winced at the words shoot her, but no one seemed to notice.

"Oh and one more question." I said. "Who came up with Team Dandelions?"

I looked straight at Emmet, but Jasper was the one to look down sheepishly.

"Whatever. Let's get ready." I rolled my eyes and stood up.

A/N: Yay another chapter done! Next chapter will be about the ride there, and after that a nice long chapter about them actually playing the game! Hope you liked it, and if you did please please please review!

See Ya!


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